I think that the damage done by the Trump administration is going to be with us for at least a generation. Historians 100 years from now (heck, 20 years from now… maybe even 10) are going to point to him as the ultimate cause of the degradation of this country. It’s so discouraging.
Why was he elected? And why are there people who still think his actions are okay?
Yes, many things going on are stupid and abhorrent and even downright evil. But what I am talking about in this post is the otherwise nice people we know who, somehow, don’t see it that way. People like the nice lady down the street who is always the first person to offer support whenever anyone needs help. Yet somehow is also a Trump supporter.
How is that nice people are supporting what is going on? And how is it that those people are shaking their heads at people like me and wondering why we don’t share their point of view? Almost none of us can escape being shaped by the media bias that we are subjected to (more on that here). But I digress…
I think a root issue is that everyone is lodged so firmly into a position where the others are “stupid” for being on the other side. But telling people that they are stupid or abhorrent is a sure way to harden their stand against you: and so the divisiveness becomes more and more hardened, and the problems in this country are cemented in to be more difficult to solve.
Something has to happen to break this wall between people. As I like to say: How you say something matters as much as what you say.
There is much that needs to be done to rebuild communication and empathy between the sides, and this transcends political right and left, conservative and liberal, Dem and Repub and Socialist. The near-religious fervor in the heads wearing those MAGA hats is especially frightening, such that even some Republicans shake their heads at the MAGA folk. But there are real people under those hats. Can they be reasoned with?
I started writing this back a few months before the 2024 election. I was talking with my amazing partner, Dave, about this, saying that if we could all just learn to communicate, things could fall into place.
Then he pointed out that we actually have less free will than we think.
Science tells us that people are born genetically different: we all know that. But what people tend not to consider is that everything about us is impacted by genetics: not just hair color and nose shape, but our brains, too. This means that our base fears and preferences are largely shaped by the genes we inherited, and then influenced by our experiences. Thus, our political affiliations are highly correlated with our genetically shaped fears and preferences. That’s a lot to unpack.
We can train ourselves to move beyond these base impulses, but doing this requires mindfulness and hard work. It requires realizing what our impulses are, deciding how we feel about it and then, if we see that a change is needed, training ourselves to move in a different direction. But if we have someone dismissing us and calling us stupid for what we believe, this is not going to put us in the frame of mind to be able to, or want to, make any meaningful change in our point of view. Our base impulse in such a situation is to defend ourselves by doubling down.
When you encounter someone who has a completely different point of view—whether politically, religiously, or in some other arena—you shouldn’t approach them as stupid or less than you. Try to understand where they are coming from. Treat them with respect, seek for points of common interest, and look for ways to cooperate despite your inherited differences.
Put another way: you should be as open and respectful to this person you have encountered as you would want them to be to you. There’s a reason that, with slightly different wording, this is called the Golden Rule.
Telling people who are different from you that they are stupid and immoral is, well, pretty stupid and immoral. Yet so many of us, both conservatives and liberals, do this, because (keeping to the theme of genetics here) every human is born with a tendency to fear and reject anyone who is different. And when you tell another person they are stupid and immoral, they are going to fight back. Who wouldn’t?
With an overwhelming wave of accusations of stupidity and immorality coming from the liberal side, many conservatives will gladly fight back with a weapon that they know you despise and maybe even fear—and that weapon is Trump.
Even many Republicans and conservatives now recognize Trump as a dangerous clown, but he is the clown that will brazenly spit in the eyes of the liberals. Trump makes fun of liberals and infuriates them publicly and overtly like no one else can. And when up against rule players, if your guy is fine breaking all the rules, then the opposition doesn’t know what the hell to do. It’s a big win!
I think possibly if more liberals had treated their conservative neighbors with sympathy and respect before 2024, the election might have turned differently, with some on-the-fencers choosing a more reasonable person to have represented their party. I know I can be ridiculously naïve… but maybe.
It’s of course too late to change 2024, but that’s not the point. This is something to remember leading into future elections, and beyond that into any other encounters, political or not.
A final note: Of course I think my point of view is right, but to someone with a completely opposite point of view, I am of course quite wrong. I wrote this post from my own liberal point of view, but I like to think that, minus the politics, the sentiment goes both ways.
As Rodney King famously said about the LA riots in 1992: “Can we all get along?”
Yeah. That would be a good start.
Rodney King on the day of his famous “get along” moment.
(King never really healed from the experience of the riots in response to his beating. The above image is from this site, which reports on his 2012 death.)