I started this post in mid 2020 when I saw a meme that said, “Most people don’t really want the truth. They just want constant reassurance that what they believe is the truth.” This was during a time when many people were [ridiculously] convinced that Covid was a hoax.
Too many people are stuck in a “my way is the only right way” mind view, and recently I had an ah-ha response when I realized I had to include myself among them.
It’s never easy, but when I can notice that my response to what others say is a knee-jerk response, I put effort into stepping back and trying to see their point of view. After a listen to the other side I might [okay, often] decide to keep to my original opinion, but not 100% of the time.
The biggest trick, of course, is to notice that initial knee-jerk response in the first place!
When it happens that you’ve seen a new side and decide you are open to altering your original point of view, do more than merely change your mind: turn that into a teaching moment. Say something like this to the person, no matter how contentious the discussion was:
“You know, I think you might be right. I need to study up on that and I’ll get back to you. Thanks for helping me see this differently.”
I was on the receiving end of this back in 2016. I was having a sometimes contentious exchange with someone on Facebook about politics, but I put great effort into keeping things civil [as well as sharing links to research that showed why I held to the points I was making, but that’s a whole ‘nuther topic!]. And after a pretty long debate, the other person responded with something similar to the “you’re right” response I gave above. This was quite the eye-opener for me. Not only was I getting confirmation that keeping civil in our exchanges is valuable, I learned the lesson of letting the other person know.
We all need to keep our minds open to learn. And while it is easy to just shut others down or give up, it’s important to keep our minds, and hopefully others’ minds, open to learning.
